The Most Important Love in your Life



Valentine’s Day is a holiday created to celebrate our loved ones. Society pressures people to get into relationships at the first chance they can get, but how can you do that, if you do not love yourself first? Bearing the burden of a relationship is a lot for oneself, especially if they do not hold that love for their own person. The process of feeling self-worth and confidence, is what people need to do to be a healthier, happier version of themself.  

Self-love is not easy, you must accept the flaws you feel for yourself, and work to improve your esteem, to genuinely love yourself. According to Youth First, “While we need to learn how to acknowledge and accept the pain with the love, another step is reconciling with a cold and unopened heart. Asking yourself if you fully love yourself can be exceedingly difficult because you must accept your flaws and faults.”  Having your sole focus on yourself is difficult, but necessary, to make relationships with your peers. Anyone can struggle with their mental health, or self-love, no matter what they look like; or how old they are.  

In situations where people get into relationships without loving themselves, there is a high probability of it not working out. Insecurities can get in the way of having a healthy relationship. No one is perfect, but there are lots of situations when relationships face consequences because of the doubts of their partner. Insecure relationships can come from lack of trust, although that does not mean that someone’s partner does not love them, they just feel doubt within them self, or the relationship. This is just another reason it is more important to focus on yourself, building up your self-confidence, or self-esteem, to maintain a healthy relationship.  Zoey Yeako states, “Self-Love is the most important factor of being in a relationship. It can cause lot’s of issues and tension in a relationship without it. Loving yourself leads to healthy communication and trust between two people who love each other. It isn’t a smart idea to love someone else without focusing on yourself first.”

Loving yourself is not easy, but it is possible. It could be something from the past that is holding you back, but it is always possible to overcome it. According to ‘Psychology Today,’ Setbacks and negative life experiences can cause us to believe we are unlovable, that there is “something wrong with me.” But if we learn from past experiences, we can regain control of everything we have to offer in life and with others.” Age is not a factor when it comes to loving yourself, you can be at any age, and go through anything to cause setbacks in your life. The process of loving yourself will not come easy, but you must accept the past and your insecurities, to overcome them. There will be highs and lows during the process, but it will be worth it in the end, when you can finally focus on another person, because you are finally healed.  

Losing yourself is not an option, you should always be your number one priority. You can be in a relationship and still care for yourself with that same amount of love, but you must put yourself first. 

Self-Love is the most important type of love you can keep in your life. How can someone expect to love another, and be fully committed until they focus on themselves, and become a better person for oneself. Malak Ozeir states, “If you don’t love yourself, then it’s proven that you can’t love anyone else. To love yourself first means to accept yourself for who you are and to let yourself be you because you are the only person you have in life. It takes time to grow and realize this for yourself, but once you do, it will change every relationship you have in the future. Once you love yourself, you understand what you want from a relationship and the type of love you want to receive. Even when some relationships fail while you love yourself, it makes the healing process easier on you.” 

Loving yourself creates boundaries and standards you can set for yourself and your relationships. Sophie Pereira shares her opinion on why it is important to put yourself first. “You need to care for yourself and your needs before you can care and love another person. It’s important to create trust and boundaries between your partner. In my opinion, trust is the most important quality in a relationship, and you cannot do that without respect for yourself and understanding your needs. ”

To conclude, being in a relationship is a lot for a person, and how can someone expect to do this, without holding respect and love to themself? Self-doubt and lack of trust can be a consequence of being in a relationship without this love. The process of finding love for oneself is a thoughtful development; it could take any amount of time, every person is different. Even if the course is difficult, it is necessary to move from that point in your life, whether it is something from your past holding you back, or something in the present to stop you. Anyone can overcome their struggles, it is just a matter of time before they realize what they need to manage healthy relationships.